*Christmas Break*

"What if some did not have faith? Will their lack of faith nullify God's faithfulness?"

Romans 3:3

Break has been so amazing so far!! I have not done much at all to count for but I have spent time with my amazing family and friends and that has meant the world to me. I guess I didn't realize how much I had until I left and part of my heart was left in Indiana. I miss them so much with every breathe I take when I'm gone. I feel like I'm really growing up. I mean don't get me wrong I still have to have a good time and act stupid but I just feel like I'm seeing some of my life through someone else's eyes. Realizing that some of the things that used to matter to me actually are so lame and a waste of the precious time I have. When I come home now it's not like I have to be gone 24/7. I'm enjoying myself so much just kickin back with my family and enjoying their company. Tonight I just stayed home with Dad,mom, Kenz, bub, and Haley. We had such a good time. We have laughed so much tonight!! Brandon never ceases to amaze me with the things he says! =] My cousin Holly Jo had her baby girl on Christmas Eve and her and Mimmi brought Jesse Ray over here to visit on their way home from a doctors appt. She is absolutely beautiful!! Then tonight Jesse, Rachel, and Jaycee Ray stopped by for a bit. Rachel is due in March, there is gonna be another Clark boy running around soon!! =] It was so good to visit with them!!! I just am so thankful for my family and friends. God has blessed me so much and I'm forever grateful!! 

I have been tossing this around in my head lately, I read it in my devo. I really like it. 

If only ONE BELIEVER WITH TOTAL FAITH rises up, the history of the world WILL BE changed.

Relaxing Day

"The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

Zephaniah 3:17

So I'm trying to pick a verse that means a lot to me each day. Zephaniah 3:17 is one of my very favorites! =] Today has just been one of those real chill days. They are nice every once in awhile. I didn't really have anything planned which was nice so that I could work on study guides for finals. We usually don't have class on Mondays here at JBC at all, so it's weird for everyone to have to have their stuff done before then. Monday is usually everyone's homework day. My two hardest finals are on Monday, then one on Tuesday, and two on Thursday. When I was at home I used to always think that I had to be out every single friday and saturday night no matter what, my parents can attest to that!! Down here though, it's nice to just set around in pajamas and watch a movie every once in awhile. I mean don't get me wrong I still love to be out and about but I realized that I'm not going to miss that much by just staying in and chilling. I'm so excited to be home on saturday though!!! My finals are done on thursday but my Uncle Shawnie and Aunt Megan are down here at Gatlinburg for their anniversary for a week. On thursday when I get done I'm going to go stay all night with them then on Friday we are going over to North Carolina to the Biltmore House. I love it there it's beautiful!! It will be my third time there! =] Then we're staying all night at their cabin again on Friday night and coming home on Saturday. It will be alot of fun! Hope ya'll have a great weekend!

Joy Comes with the Morning Light

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."

Lamentations 3:22-24

I woke up for class this morning, despite not wanting to get out of my warm bed, I knew it was going to be a good day. I'm sorry my first post was a bit emotional. Some people may think I'm crazy now haha I was just having a very emotional night but when I woke up this morning I felt refreshed and renewed. I've had a great day so far!! In chapel this morning they held the Festival of Christmas joy which was nice. I sat by Peter Kim, who by the way has been a huge blessing down here at JBC. God definitely knew I would need some encouragement and so He sent me Peter to be my big brother here. He gives me a hard time about everything and can always put a smile on face, but when I have been at my roughest spots down here he has always been a shoulder to cry on and the right words to say. Just a blessing! I have one more day of class and I'm so excited to be done for a bit! It will be nice to be home with the family and all my friends. I miss everyone like crazy. I talk to mom about a million times a day it seems but I wouldn't have it any other way. Bubby calls me every day and his mouth doesn't quit =] I talk to dad and sis alot to. Anyways I'm just rambling so I will go. Have a great day!

Peace, Faith, Hope, and Love

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

-Psalm 73:26

It's 2:38 in the morning and I'm going to be mad at myself at 6:30 when I have to get up for class but I have so much on my chest tonight. I don't know what is wrong with me lately, my title fits perfect, I'm struggling to make it real. My life, my faith, all that I feel. I'm down here at Tennessee away from everyone and God is stretching me, breaking me, molding me, and making me. It's tough. I have so many things going through my head and I don't know how to even begin to put them into sentences. I know one thing though, Psalm 73:26 is my lifesaving verse right now and I'm holding onto nothing other than my Heavenly Father up above. So much is changing in my life and I don't know how to even sort through my thoughts anymore. You know moving away from everything and everyone I have ever known has been tough but it has opened my eyes more than anything I have ever experienced. God knew that I was to comfortable and living in that comfort was causing me to be a lukewarm, stagnate Christian. Not only have I learned so much about myself since I have been here, I've also learned so much about others. Finding out that friendships will change no matter how hard you try to hold on to them, and life as you may know it can change all in the blink of an eye. The biggest thing I have learned since I have been here is GOD IS THE ONLY PERSON THAT WILL NOT FAIL YOU. I have tried putting my trust in so many other things and it just isn't worth it. Every single time I have been left brokenhearted. I used to find my self worth and trust in friends. They were my everything. Don't get me wrong I love them all to death but I have realized that they too aren't always there. Even if they are they are going to break your heart and maybe even walk away but God won't. If I wouldn't have had my faith to lean on during these last 4 and a half months I wouldn't have made it. Day by day my God is making me stronger and breathing peace and strength into my heart. He will be my portion forever. I want to end this by putting this little poem I ran across during my quiet time today, but venting all of this has calmed me down and made me feel so much better.

My peace I give in times of deepest grief,

Imparting calm and trust and My relief.

My peace I give when prayer seems lost, unheard;

Know that My promises are ever in My Word.

My peace I give when you are left along--

The nightingale at night has sweetest tone.

My peace I give you in times of utter loss,

They way of glory leads right to the cross.

My peace I give when enemies will blame,

Your fellowship is sweet through cruel shame.

My peace I give in agony and sweat;

For my own brow with bloody drops was wet.

My peace I give when nearest friend betrays;

Peace that is merged in love, and for them prays.

My peace I give when there's but death for thee--

They gateway is the cross to get to me.

"My peace I give you." John 14:27